Log in

No account? Create an account
08 May 2014 @ 09:55 am
There was a time I prayed to go back in time. Please, I whispered in the dark. No one will have to know.

But then I woke, and it was the next day, and the next, and the next. Everyday, like waking up to a bad dream. Everyday, facing the reality of what was, what is, what will be.

How do you rise after you fall? It's not easy. You struggle. You persevere. And you realize the tomorrow you never wanted is the tomorrow you always needed, and you begin again.

You'll know your okay when the whisper at the back of your mind is gone.

Please, no one will have to know.
14 March 2013 @ 09:38 pm

I'm not dead!


we hold our hearts in silence
Fandom + Characters: Avatar: The Last Airbender | Zuko/Katara
Category: Drama, Romance
Rating: Safe
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender.
Word Count: 3,463
Summary: Seventy years later, Korra tries to figure out Zuko and Katara.

( She's seen that expression before. )

x-posted: if you guys prefer fanfiction.net, click here.


Recently, Zutara has been my only fandom. I scarcely have time for anything, let alone fandom, but this pairing has woven its way into my brain. This, and Taichi/Chihaya.

As you can see, I get no happiness from either ships, because they are ships that are just meant to be depressing and sad, but I get by.


On real life happenings: I passed Ateneo Medical School! I cried in sheer joy when I found out. In the long run, I think I'll be super excited to be studying for med, but right now I'm just terrified. I'm set for graduation this April and its turning me into a ball of nerves. I keep on thinking something will go wrong. Maybe its a side effect of being an undergraduate student for six years.

Sometimes I look back and see things I could've done differently. There are so many things I should have given more priority and yet didn't. Its only right now that I see that I was so happy-go-lucky in my undergraduate life. I can't be like that anymore.

I'm very lucky that the people who stood by me then are still the people who stand by me now, however. I love my family. I love my friends.

Look at me. Talking like this as if its the end!

It definitely isn't.


LiveJournal is still the best blog ever.

Although I would also like it if you added me on theredskirt.tumblr.com. HAHA.


Everytime I'm here, I want my userpics back. Dammit.

Current Mood: indescribable
Current Music: Safe & Sound - Taylor Swift
27 June 2012 @ 09:08 am
I am in so much pain right now I am considering having my uterus surgically removed.

But that means no babies in the future unless I do in vitro and find a woman to host the fertilized egg. Which sounds like too much of a hassle (and not to mention it may also be potentially expensive). So, I will bear the pain.

These are the moments I wish I was born male...


School has only been going on for three weeks but it feels like its been months. We're swamped with requirements already and the professors are throwing deadlines left and right. Having been an Executive Committee member in UP AME for three years, I thought I was used to balancing my time between extra-curricular work and academics, but this is a whole new challenge. I think I'm definitely handling things better, but I'm still trying to find the right habits so I can deliver everything perfectly -- or at least, beyond expectations.

I really want to be a different person this semester. I want to improve. I want to do my best.

Which is hard at the moment considering how much pain I'm in
Current Mood: soresore
Current Music: It's You - Super Junior
05 May 2012 @ 01:01 am
First things first: the internet here is terrible. I have to click on refresh at least two times for any page to work, which reminds me of the days when I used to buy prepaid internet and connect via dial-up, but even that might've better. However, I am still overjoyed because the internet back home barely exists at all, and 'terrible' is really an upgrade from what I've been experiencing.

So right now I'm typing in a dark corner inside my room (my brother insists that its his, but it has the bathroom and hey, I called dibs!) in my dad's quarters in Fort Magsaysay, Nueva Ecija. This isn't really our house, but its a place to stay as long as my dad remains assigned here.

Going here is like falling off the grid. There's barely any cellphone signal, and the internet -- well, I've already mentioned that. But I kind of like it, since its relaxing and very quiet and there are a lot of physical activities to do (like biking and mountain climbing), and you all know how I'm such an advocate of physical activity (not).

We're staying here for the weekend, and its kind of nice since my dad seems to be so happy about it. I think he really misses us since he's not with us everyday.

We're watching Van Helsing on HBO now and all I remember about this movie is how my friend Deo would copy the way Igor said "Gaaabrieeel~". Now that line cracks me up and I think my family is judging me cause none of them get it.


The other day I made materials for the upcoming wedding of one of my childhood friends, Ate Jacqui. I made her a 'Save the date' video as well as the powerpoint template for her wedding mass.

As I was making these things, surrounding me was a world of chaos care of Juntsu, David, Nono, Jed and Mark (who is actually also a David, since he's Mark David, and we always call him David but it can get really confusing since there's another David, so let's refer to him as Mark).

They played some retarded rendition of poker where Nono would somehow keep winning (he was cheating), David would somehow never lose chips (he was next to the bank), Mark would just keep on losing (poor bb, he's the youngest), Juntsu would keep on trying to bet all-in (he needed to go home) while Jed tried to hail himself as the Poker King (he's just... a retard).

I couldn't concentrate on making anything because they were hilarious.

Somewhere in between David betting my USB stick in the pot and Juntsu firing Nerf bullets at me, I finished the video and the powerpoint.

This story really has no point except that I wanted to blog it cause I had a lot of fun, hahaha.


Have I mentioned its really quiet here?

The quiet is doing me some good, though, since I was able to write a bit today! I'll post anything I finish on autompneastra (or twifa, hopefully!). I hope you guys are still interested enough to comment and criticize something I write! Thank you ;___;


The typing I'm doing in this dark corner is mildly creeping me out...
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: Baby Steps - TaTiSeo
03 May 2012 @ 12:27 am
Given the fact that I owe people memes and that I am generally a very bad netizen, I probably should not be posting right now. However, I spent the past hour re-reading my old entries and decided that hey, I miss writing in a blog. So here I am.


Spent the entire day today out with kyoy, spending more than needed on books and clothes. We seriously did not intend to buy anything but when you enter Fully Booked and see the sign 50% OFF on Cinderella things just tend to turn out that way.

From Fully Booked: I bought Everything Is Illumindated by Foer, Swan Thieves by Kostova, and the translated version of The Wavering of Haruhi Suzumiya. Kyoy and I also each bought this arguably useless planner that is too cute to be used so I'll probably just spend the rest of my life simply staring at it and gushing at how adorable it is.

From Cinderella: I bought two dresses from Naf Naf and a shirt from BNY. What, IT WAS ON SALE. No, don't give me that look. I already got a severe look of judgement from my brother when he saw my shopping bags. Not to mention Kyoy's threats since she ended up buying something too. (The shirt looks good on you!)

I do realize I am defending myself from no one. Cough. But I felt the need.


I really miss writing. I considered starting a journal where I'd be posting my day in third person, just to practice, you know? I'm still considering the pros and cons of doing something like that but I don't think I'd be able to maintain it. For now, I'll just keep it the idea at the back of my head.


I feel that I should mention what I told to seikochan earlier today: that every time I see my laptop's wallpaper I giggle. Look at that, I just saw it now. And I'm giggling. This is my introduction to how far I've fallen.

Here is my wallpaper. When you click the link and see it, you will understand.


I'm getting sleepy.

I'm also getting old.

This life.
Current Mood: thankfulthankful
Current Music: Twinkle - TaTiSeo
09 September 2011 @ 03:47 am
Remember when I said that I only usually post when I'm stressed or don't want to study for an exam?

Comment with your username and I'll upload three songs for you, but those aren't just any 3 songs. The first is a song that represents you. The second is a song representing our relationship with each other. The third is a song that I think you've never heard before, but really should.

Feel free to demand an explanation for the songs I picked, if you so wish it.

From alabapoy! I'm not as music savvy as he is, but I think I have a decent stock of songs. Comment away!

Also, I do intend to finish all the memes I owe everyone. Someday.


I can't seem to keep awake recently. Its strange; I'm asleep by 10 o'clock nowadays, and I wake up at around 5am. I never get any work done. Must be all those years of staying up getting back at me.

Luckily I woke up at 3am today to study for my exam!

And yesss, I'm going back to studying.


Have I mentioned how badly I want to write fic? Gruh.
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
27 July 2011 @ 05:43 am
If I told you, would you have listened?


The day went by rather normally. I was late for class, crammed a paper, and somewhere in the middle of it all I wasted my time waiting for the news to announce that classes were suspended for universities nationwide. Sadly, CHED is never that nice, and UPD took the initiative to suspend at around 1 pm.

I was already in my 1 pm class at the time, and despite knowing that classes were suspended, my prof still decided to go on with the lecture and have a quiz. My only consolation is that I have two recit points.



No rest for the weary, as they say.

Takbo Para sa Japan just ended, yet I find myself swamped still. I've got three papers, two exams and another fifteen hour affiliation requirement -- all due next week. Thank goodness I'm not alone. I think I'd have gone crazy.


There are little things.

I know it probably shouldn't bother me but -- its like a cancer eating away my insides. Slowly, bit by bit, the thoughts ram through and I'm left gaping at the hole it left behind.

Although, I shouldn't be complaining. People have faced far worse and here I am, worrying about petty little things.

But I thought maybe it would be better if I let it out somewhere.

Probably not here.


I'll be fine.


I've always wondered.
Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
04 July 2011 @ 09:28 pm
Aaand there goes the first month of school.

Things have been pretty busy lately. Between the preparations for Takbo Para Sa Japan, my AME duties, and of course, my academics, my free time has been scarce and rare. I'm also very hormonal again, which proves that I like posting at LJ when its that time of the month I'm engulfed by stress and things to do but I don't want to get to doing them.



So today I went to Divisoria/Recto/Binondo with kyoy andalabapoy. I was the one who had errands and they accompanied me there. (Thank you, you two darlings!) It was a productive trip, and I discovered that there could be a correlation between a full bladder and a headache. Kyoy seems to believe me as she quoted it to me several times during the trip, despite her uncertainties early on. Dan just gave me a look, the one he usually gives me when I'm singing my cheesepuff song. (FYI, its a very nice song. I don't know why he has a disdainful look when I sing it.)

Example conversation (note that this has been paraphrased):

Me: I want to pee.
Me: My head hurts.
Me: /gasps/ I think my headache is related to my need to pee!
Kyoy: /ignores/
Dan: /ignores/

But later on...
Me: My head still hurts.
Kyoy: Oh, do you need to pee?
Me: :3
Dan: /ignores/

When I become a registered nutritionist and a medical doctor, I will do research on that and you can mark this day as the day that inspired me. Kyoy's name will be right under God in the acknowledgement page, and Dan will be on the very bottom because he doubted me. Mark my words.

EDIT: Apparently, someone already thought of this before. But I don't know if further research has been done on it. Wait for me, medical academe!


And since I feel like growing older has made my blog uninteresting, let me end this post with a meme!

Comment to this post with a Harry Potter character and I'll--

Harry Potter - Tell about a scar on my body.
Ron Weasley - Something I'm afraid of.
Hermione Granger - A subject I know a lot about.
Draco Malfoy - Closest green item to me.
Severus Snape - My favorite alcoholic beverage.
Rubeus Hagrid - My favorite animal.
Luna Lovegood - Something about me other people find weird.
Neville Longbottom - My favorite flower.
Nimphodorah Tonks - Something I would change about my appearance.
Fred & George Weasley - The last prank I pulled on someone, or someone pulled on me.
Voldemort - If I were to make a Horcrux, it would be..
Moaning Myrtle - The last thing to make me cry.

That's from kyoy. Pretty neat, eh?



26 May 2011 @ 08:52 am
I am feeling hormonal. And dorky. I AM A HORMONAL DORK.

So I was driving from kyoy's last night -- we went swimming, btw, and it was epically fun and we pretended to play dead and did retarded swimming games, like pretending to be bikini babes, when none of us were even in bikinis -- ahem, anyway -- where was I? So I was driving home from Kyoy's last night, and then my personalized music CD suddenly plays Suteki da ne in its orchestral version and guess what. My mood changes instantly -- I go home feeling pretty sad, and remembering how Tidus had to jump of the airship and how Yuna passed through him and how Spira was saved but they really didn't get their happy ending, and I'm not supposed to be affected like this, its only a game, but I go to my room and open really depressing Tidus/Yuna fics I've bookmarked and read them anyway.

And yes, that was my last night in a nutshell.

(I realize my last post awhile ago was also about FFX, so I guess this post has some slight continuity even though its months later.)


I should really stop word vomiting and explain things more coherently.


Yesterday we had a blast at kyoy's! I've never been more excited to swim before. I suppose the downside is we have a lot of incriminating videos and pictures of each other. But then, we at renaissance_era have had blackmail material for each other for ages. So that's nothing new.


My summer has been so busy running back and forth doing work. I'm not complaining, but I really want more bum days. I didn't take summer classes to have bum days. I guess they'll come to me... eventually. There are around two weeks left, after all.

My mom also took notice that even though I don't have school, I'm always out of the house. And of course, she got mad accordingly. Mew. I don't blame her, though. alabapoy pointed out that my mom probably didn't expect to spend on my person this summer since I'd be bumming. Which I'm not, so I still ask for allowance.

On that line of thinking -- I was expecting I'd be able to save this summer. But between going to Baguio, UP and World Trade Center... yeah, guess not.


Yes, you read right! I went a Baguio trip! Unsupervised! With friends! With Gozar, to be exact.

It was insanely fun. I've known my Gozar friends since birth (could be an exaggeration, but even that's arguable) but this was the first time we went out a trip out of town. We did a lot of stuff and generally invaded Baguio. It was retarded but definitely one of my more memorable outings. I want to do it again ;A;


Oh before I end this post, I'd like to announce I got 17 UNITS FROM CRS BABY

Which has never happened before. I never get anything above 9.

I got 2 MSTS, all my majors, and my Physics 71. The only thing I didn't get from what I enlisted was PI 100 and PE.


I know, right?
Current Mood: awakeawake
General Plan of Action
for the position of President

of the University of the Philippines Anime Manga Enthusiasts
Academic Year 2011-2012

To the General Assembly of the UP AME:

I am Tiffany Beatrice C. San Juan, inducted into this organization as part of Batch Shemen (2007). I am running for the position of President, and I hereby present my general plan of action that was written with the goals and duties of the said position as provided by the UP AME Constitution of 2004 in mind:

The President of UP AME shall:

i. Be the head of the organization and represent it in all its official transactions.
ii. Head and preside over all meetings of the EXECOM and of the GA.
iii. Call emergency meetings, create ad hoc committees and appoint their members when the need arises.
iv. Sign all contracts, agreements and treaties and accept all donations on behalf of UP AME.
v. Prepare a semestral report to the GA regarding the status of UP AME.
vi. Induct new members.
vii. Be the tie-breaker in the GA.
viii. Act as decision maker only in the event that the GA cannot for any reason convene nor can the EXECOM make a decision.

[AMElections] GPOA: For the position of PresidentCollapse )

Let's continue to make UP AME the best it can be, everyone!


Thank you for reading!

I am available for questions, inquiries, violent reactions and et cetera. Please comment to this LJ post with any comments you have, and I will try my best to get back to you asap. (All comments are screened!) I am also available through Yahoo! Messenger by this ID: psychedelic_aya

Thank you for reading, and good luck this coming AMElections!
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished